Have you ever gotten bored while cooking in the kitchen? Even worse there isn’t anything to watch while your not busy. Well I looked up a few things on cooking humor within different categories. Here we go guys.
Here are the top 10 rejected Campbell’s Soup varieties:
10. Dan Quayle’s Harty Potatoe Soop
9. Exorcist Split Pea Soup
8. Matzoh Ball, Ham ‘n’ Hebrew Alphabet Noodles
6. Manhattan Phlegm Chowder
5. Hearty Booger Bonanza
4. Stars ‘n’ Swastikas
3. Porn Chowder
2. Pigeon ‘n’ Carp flavored Cup-O-Gruel
1. Chunky Liver with Fava Beans
Also here are the top 10 reasons Americans are overweight:
10. Hey, we get 80 channels of great American TV 24 hours a day,
there’s no time to exercise!
9. “Girl Scout Cookie Dough” gets better tasting every year.
8. The colossal failure of “Salad King” drive-thru chain.
7. Doing it just to spite Richard Simmons.
6. Addition of a diet soda does NOT mean your triple bacon
cheeseburger/chili fries combo is a healthy meal.
5. Americans still unconvinced that it’s not really butter.
4. Part of our country’s defense strategy:
Asses too large to be kicked.
3. Slim Fast shakes taste much better with a scoop of
Ben & Jerry’s in ’em.
2. One word: Sprinkles
1. “Did somebody say McDonald’s?”
For those Martha Stewart fans out there, this is for you:
10. Leaving half-sucked lollipops out for sweet ants is a quick and
easy way to add nutritional value to this already popular treat.
9. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. If you’re really
running late, bring the waffle iron into the shower with you.
8. A simple turkey baster can also be used to remove those pesky
beans lodged in your ear canal.
7. In a pinch, frozen water can substitute for ice.
6. Adding a dash of Drano to your liver and onions won’t kill the
taste, but should numb your taste buds enough for you to swallow.
5. Remember: Steak + Crest does *not* equal “steak tartare.”
4. Forget to pack the grill? No problem — just spritz some olive
oil on your engine block and you’ll be cooking in no time!
3. Ground hamster adds a distinct tasty garnish to otherwise dull
mealtimes… no, it doesn’t taste like chicken.
2. Your screen door can also double as a handy cheese-grater!
1. For a real St. Patrick’s day treat, leave the corned beef out on
the counter for a week beforehand. You not only get the taste of
corned beef, but it will be a festive shade of holiday green that
will accent your dinner table just right.
After reading these they don’t seem that funny to me. However if you like them feel free to look for more and try to entertain me in the comments. These humorous jokes were provided by e-CookBooks at http://www.e-cookbooks.net/humor.htm